Schooooooooool's out for SUMMER!

Finally finished up my last creative writing class. No more classes til August 22nd. I haven't had this much time off from classes in over a year. WOO HOO!!

I am very proud of the finished product from this last class. It was a great learning process for my writing abilities. At the end of the semester I had a finished short story. It's awesome.  I have been thinking about finding some writing contests to enter. Maybe even find some literary magazines to submit pieces of work to, see if I could get published?

Well.. here is my finished story. :)

Who I Can Be

With every slap to my face and every name he called me, I grew stronger. I knew that one day I would leave him. I had put up with the abuse and the fighting for so long that I knew I would eventually snap. I have never known what a real genuine relationship was like. Randy and I were high school sweethearts. It wasn’t love at first sight, I was just curious at first. When I looked at him from across the room in our English class, his dark eyes always drew me in.  He was so mysterious. After I finally mustered the courage to talk to him and we started dating, it took me three months to break down the walls enough that he finally let me in. What I saw was haunting. The torment and pain that he had experienced as a child was enough to break anyone, but not him. For the first time ever, he had someone that he could call his, me. I would be the one person that he could count on. Now, here I stand broken, abused and a shadow of the girl I was six years ago.

I have no job, car, family or friends all because of him. My family and friends grew tired of watching me put up with the abuse and wrote me off years ago. It’s just him and me now, the way he wanted it. We live in a run down apartment because he can’t keep a job. He says that he has back problems and he quits every couple months. I don’t know how much more I can take.

As I sit on the same worn in spot on our ratty, dirty couch, and look at his face, I feel sick to my stomach. I know that today is going to be another bad day; there are a lot of these. The furrow lines in his brow are deep today. As he flips through the few channels we have, he turns and looks at me with disgust, it’s going to start.

“Why are you just sitting there looking at me? Are we going to eat breakfast today or not?” he spits at me.

“Of course, I was just about to ask you what you would like to have today. I can make you French toast, or eggs,” I reply as sweetly as possible. I know it won’t help much, but sometimes it prolongs the inevitable.

“Just make me some eggs, and bring me a beer with them. I don’t want to go to work today, my back is hurting.”

I get up to walk to the kitchen and feel the remote smack me in the back of my head.

“And, hurry up, bitch, I’m hungry.”

That was all it took, I saw red and turned around after him.

“That is the last time you will throw another thing at me! And that is the last time you will ever call me bitch, you BASTARD!”

As I run from the only home I have known over the last six years, I feel relief, but scared. Where will I go? I could call my mom, I think as I slow from a sprint to a jog reaching the end of the street. Even though calling my mom is the last thing I want to do, I know that it’s my only option. I didn’t have time to grab my purse as I ran from my apartment. With no money and looking as frightening as I do, I pray that the cashier at the convenience store will let me use the phone.

I walk in the doors and the cashier looks at me in horror. My left eye is swollen shut, my hair is a rats nest pulled up into a greasy pony tail, I am wearing my light blue pajama pants that I got when I was 14 years old and my t-shirt was ripped with little splatters of blood.

“Ma’am, are you okay? Do you need me to call the police?” the young cashier asks me as she starts to grab the phone from it’s cradle.

“No, I’m okay. But, if I could just use your phone that would be great,” I tell her.

“Yes, yes go ahead.”

I go to grab the receiver from the cashier and a drop of blood drips onto the counter from my arm.

“Miss, are you sure you don’t need me to call the police? You are bleeding. I really think you should go to a hospital,” she says to me with concern.

“No, I’m going to call my Mom and have her take me to the hospital. Really I’m fine.”

I’m starting to panic because that blood isn’t mine. It’s Randy’s. Realizing I can’t explain how I came to have someone else’s blood on me I tell the girl my Mom’s phone number to dial.

“Hello Gardner residence.”

“Jackie, it’s Corrie, is my mom home?”

“Oh Corrie Dear! How are you? It has been so long since we have heard from you around here,” she excitedly asks in her thick southern accent.

“I will tell you all about it later, Jackie, I promise. But, right now it’s really important that I speak with my mom. Is she there?”

“Yes dear, she is. She is about to leave. Let me see if I can catch her.”

I’m waiting impatiently to hear my Mom pick up the phone and glance up to see the cashier busy herself with wiping down the counter. She’s trying to look like she isn’t listening to my conversation. I need to watch what I say.

“Corrie, are you ok? Jackie said it was very important that I speak with you,” my mom says picking up the phone.

“No, I’m not. I need you to come and pick me up right away. I’m at the circle K by my apartment. Please come quickly,” I say fighting back tears.

“I have Pilates in an hour, I will come after,” She says very sternly, and about to hang up.

“Mom, I know I have made some mistakes and I know you have been upset by some of my previous decisions. Right now, I need you to put that behind you and understand that I need you more than ever,” I beg bursting into tears.

“Corrie, you are making this really hard on me. I have helped you so many times and you threw it back in my face, I just can’t.”

“It is very different this time, I can’t explain now, please just come.”

With a big sigh from the other end of the phone she agrees.

“I will be there in 10 minutes. And, Corrie, you better not go back to him this time.”

“Trust me. I won’t.”

Seeing my mom pull up in her Mercedes to pick me up brought back so many memories from grade school. Right down to the look of disappointment.

I know that I need to tell her what happened in my apartment today. I just don’t know how to start it. How can you tell someone who already thinks so little of you something that is this serious?

“Where are we headed, Mom?”

“First we are going by your apartment. I’m going to run in and get you some clean clothes, and then I will drop you off at my house so you can shower. I have a dinner tonight with the ladies that I go to Pilates with, you can come if you like.”

“Did you say we are going to my apartment? We can’t go there. I can’t go back there right now,” I say starting to panic.

“Well, you aren’t staying at my house like that. You need decent clothes. I have my pepper spray, Corrie, I’m not worried.”

“No, we really can’t go there. I… I.. I need to tell you something, Mom.”

“I’m not buying you clothes, if that is what you are trying to do. I guess I can see what old stuff I have in my closet.”

“ Did you hear me? I need to tell you something and it’s important.”

“Yes, but I can’t talk about it right now. We will talk after you get yourself cleaned up.”

Not wanting to argue with her anymore I got back to looking out the window. As we pass by my apartment complex I notice there is an ambulance and two police cars parked in the parking lot. I can feel my palms sweating and my heart racing.

“Mom, I can’t wait to tell you this later. You need to listen to me. I think I did something really bad,” I confess as my eyes fill with tears.

“Okay Corrie, since you can’t wait anymore. What is it? What did you do that is so bad?” She asks thick with sarcasm.

“I think I might have killed Randy. I don’t know for sure, but there was a lot of blood and he wasn’t moving. I couldn‘t bring myself to get close in case he was still alive, I just ran.  I just couldn‘t take it anymore, Mom. He threw the remote at the back of my head and I and attacked him. I grabbed one of the empty beer bottles from the coffee table and hit him over the head with it. When he started to punch me I stabbed him repeatedly with a broken piece and ran. Part of me wants him to be dead. I know how terrible that sounds. ”

My whole body is trembling uncontrollably as I wait for her to respond. But, she doesn’t. She doesn’t even blink. She just keeps staring straight ahead and driving with no expression.

“Well, I know he deserves it,” she replies emotionless.

Lingering in the entryway to my mom’s house feels odd. Nothing has changed. My mom is a creature of habit. The wooden framed mirror with the crack in the upper right corner has been hanging on the very same wall in the foyer since I was 8. It was given to my mom when her grandmother died. The yellow floral couch in the formal living room has been there since before I was born. The only difference is that now the house smells stale. It doesn’t smell like home anymore. No one is baking cookies in the kitchen and I’m pretty sure my mom hasn’t opened the windows to “let the summer air in” in years. That has changed the whole feeling of this house, it feels lonely in here now.

Feeling the warm shower water run down my back is the most relaxing feeling I have had all day. It starts to make me think about the events of today. I woke up this morning like it was any other day. I had no idea that today was the day that I was going to kill Randy. Me, Corrie Gardener, I took another person’s life today. I’m not a killer. I wanted to be a doctor so I could save lives. How is it possible that I am standing here a killer? Tears are running down my face mixing with the water. I feel more alone and less like myself than I ever have in my entire life.

Getting out of the shower I look at myself in the mirror. The black eye and green bruises that still linger on my arms start to ignite the anger that I felt earlier. Grabbing my mom’s hairbrush I walk into her room where she is still sitting.

“I think we should tell the police what happened,” I say with a little attitude.

“Are you sure, Corrie? No one is going to miss him. You still have a chance to get your life back together. But if that is what you want I can get a hold of my lawyer and we can get this all taken care of.”

“We have to go to the police. Look at me mom,” I say dropping my towel to show her the bruises all over me.

“They will believe that it was self defense. I want to do the right thing. I’m not a murderer.”

My mom bursts into tears. This is the first time I have ever seen her show emotion like this. Even as a kid I never saw her sad or crying.

“Oh Corrie, I’m so sorry. He deserved this. He deserved everything that you did to him.”

“No, he didn’t deserve to die. He should be in jail, not lying in his own blood. He really did love me. He trusted me, and I killed him. I feel like such a horrible person.”
                                    “You aren’t horrible, Corrie. You were defending yourself against everything that he has done to you over the years. You had a bright future. You wanted to be a surgeon! Don’t you remember that girl? I do. I think about her every day. Now you can be her again. Now, you have a chance to make a life for yourself.”

“I know. I will. But, I really have to go to the police. I need to tell them what I did. I have to be honest. That above all else is who I am.”

“Well sweetheart, get dressed. I will call Ruth and tell her I’m not going to make it to dinner. When you are ready we will go down to the police station.”

“Oh, Mom no you don’t have to do that. I know how important your dinner is to you.”

“No, I do. I want you to know that you are important too. I haven’t been there and now I can be, and I want to. You need me.”

For the first time in a long time I feel like I have my mom. The emotions are overwhelming. Today has been a day of loss and gain. I need to get dressed and head over to the police station, but the nerves are overwhelming. I know that I need to tell them what I did but I’m so afraid of what will happen.

“Mom, it’s going to be ok right?” I ask her. Needing her reassurance makes me feel like I am a little girl again.

“I’m sure it is. That is why I have called my lawyer, Andrew.”

Walking into the police station I feel more nervous than I ever have in my life. I keep imagining myself sitting in a cell.

“Corrie Gardner, we are ready for you,” a chubby woman in her uniform says to me. She looks nice, but that could all change when she hears what happened.

I walk with her to a small room with a table and tall policeman waiting for me.

“Please have a seat Corrie,” he smiles at me.

“We just have a few questions for you about what happened to Randy.”

I sit down and prepare for what is about to happen. I know that what I did was wrong but they have to believe that I was defending myself. I’m not a violent person.

“Of course Officer. I can answer any questions you have.”

“My first question is, did you assault Randy? You know that he is in surgery right now, fighting for his life?”

“Yes, I did. But it was in defense. He has been beating me for years.”

I feel like a criminal. Not like the victim that I know I am. I know that I was wrong for attacking Randy, but he had it coming. He has had it coming for years now.

“I know it was wrong. I shouldn’t have snapped on him like that. He has been pushing me around for so many years now. I lost it. I am sorry.”

“Why didn’t you come to us before it got to this point?”

“I- I… I don’t know,” I shake my head and look down at my hands resting on the table.

While we are talking there is a knock on the door. A bigger man in a uniform pokes his head in. The chubby lady excuses herself and goes to talk to him.  I watch her face and notice darkness to it. She walks back over to me and looks at me with a seriously stern face.

“Corrie, I have some bad news. Randy didn’t make it through his surgery,” she stares at me waiting for some sort of reaction

The handcuffs that they put me in were cold as I walked to a cell with my head down. I’m not a monster. I don’t belong in this place. It was self-defense.

I hear the door close and look around my new place of residence, in a cell again. I feel almost like I did back in the apartment with Randy.  There is hope though. I told the investigator about the girl at the convenience store. She saw me right after everything happened. She has to be some help.

I lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I hope this doesn’t last too long.

It has been a month and I have been sitting in the same cell day after day. Only allowed to leave when my lawyer or my mom come to see me or for the hour of daylight I get to see each day.

The security guard comes to get me and hands me the dark blue pantsuit that my mom bought for me to wear. I graciously accept and turn to get dressed. Modesty is something that I lost after the first few days of being in here.

Walking into the courtroom with my hands in the handcuffs again. I spot Randy’s father and sister siting in the front row. I haven’t spoke to them since the incident. I feel terrible about missing Randy’s funeral; I would have liked to go. I did love him, even after all that had happened between us. His father looks drunk as usual. They both glare at me like I’m a common criminal.  I look away and find my mother on the other side of the aisle and she looks worried. It’s a very common look for her these days. Hopefully, today will be the last day that I see her look like this.  Standing at the table where I am being lead is Andrew, my lawyer. He gives me his best “everything is going to be ok” smile and hugs me before I sit down.

“I feel really good about this, Corrie.”

“I hope your feeling is right, Andrew.”

Waiting for the verdict to be read is the most nerve-wracking thing I have ever experienced. Looking at the jurors doesn’t help either. Not a single one of them are even looking at me.

“All rise,” I hear the bailiff command.

I stand up and feel like my knees are going to collapse. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as the judge asks the jurors to read the verdict.

“We find the defendant Corrie Gardner not guilty,” the foreman reads.

My head is instantly spinning. Did I hear that right? Not guilty. Not guilty. NOT GUILTY.

I feel Andrew give me a giant hug and pick me up off the ground. I’m smiling and my cheeks feel wet. I didn’t even realize I was crying. I think I hear my mom screaming next to me.

It occurs to me how devastated Randy’s family must be. I look over at where they were sitting to see them no longer there. I know they will never speak to me again.

“Let’s get you home and get you showered and comfortable,” My mom says while grabbing my hand.

On the drive home I look over at my mom and see her smiling for the first time in a while. I’m grateful for everything she has done for me in the course of this mess. I hate to ask her for anything else, but I know I need to do something.

“Mom, do you think we could go by the cemetery where Randy was buried?”

She looks over at me disapprovingly and gives me a small nod of her head as if to say she thinks it’s a bad idea but knows why I want to go.

I sit back and feel a small part of me ache inside while we drive.

Driving over to his plot I started to feel the sadness I expected to feel, but ten times stronger.

“Here we are,” my mom says, stopping her car next to a dark green patch of grass with lots of headstones in the ground.

“Do you want me to come with you Corrie?”

“No. I need to do this alone.”

“Ok. Well it’s the second row. I’ll be here whenever you are ready.”

I walk to the second row of headstones and find Randy’s. I stare at it for a minute and remembering everything that has happened leading up to this moment. The moment that I am standing at Randy’s grave. The boy I loved. The boy I killed.

I bend down and place my hand on the cold cement stone over his name.

“I’m so sorry. I did love you.”

I kiss my hand and place it back on the head stone. A single tear rolls down my cheek and with that I get up and walk away. This is the last time I will cry over Randy.

Long time no see!

It has been awhile. Entirely too long. I tried using tumblr and livejournal, word to the wise... don't. This is the best free blogging site that I have found.

Aidan's 7th birthday was Saturday. He is so big! I love that little boy. :-) How can anyone not?

So, since the last time I was here a lot has happened. I have acquired a fantastic macbook and completed 2 more classes. Next semester I am going to take French and Astronomy. I'm SO incredibly excited!! I will definitely keep you all posted about how that goes! :-)

I read my last post.. and I'm disappointed with myself. I had so much that I wanted to accomplish in 2011. We are 6 months into it, and I have failed at pretty much everything that I wanted to do. I gave up my 365 project before January was even over. I have not hit my diet as hard as I wanted. I'm super bummed. I didn't realize how optimistic I was until reading that now. I think I am going to really try and do it all again.

December.. WOW!

So, 2010 is coming to a close. My first year as a married adult, the first year of living in a house, the first year I have actually known what I TRUELY wanted to do and went for it, and the year I lost 25lbs & can fit into a size 16 again. And, the  year of our first real family vacation.

What a year it has been!

I have so much I want to try to do in 2011. I'm going to attempt taking 3 classes, we want to go to Minnesota for Aidan's spring break. A new state and my first airplane ride!

I started doing the HCG thing for about a week right before Thanksgiving and have decided to wait until the new year. I'm back to WW and hopefully that will help keep the Christmas weight at bay. We went hiking this morning and it felt so good. I haven't done that in a long time. We took Monster with us and he had a blast. Kyle and I talked about it and have decided that we will hike every other week and go to church every other week. We just need to find a church in our area that we are both comfortable going too. We will see how that goes.

I'm going to create a goals list for 2011 I think. Just some things that I feel are reachable and will be worth working towards. I don't know what exactly it will include yet, but I have about 24 days to work it out.:-)

We are going to have a New Year's party again this year, so I am pretty excited about that. I love having partys!!

I guess that's really it. I have an essay and  a final to get done!
Have a great week!

New Stories

I figured I could update some of my stories.

Last week I had to write a short-short story... so  here is that one. I know I am going to get crap for how I ended it, but per my instructor I was supposed to leave the reader with questions. So, you end it, tell me what you think happens. I know what I want to happen so I guess I will see if I did a good job setting that up.


From this Day Forward



He pulls me in closer, forehead to forehead we stand. I can feel his breath in my face and his hands as they are rubbing the small of my back. Don’t cry, I say to myself. I have to be strong. I can see his lips move but I can’t hear a word he is saying. I am lost in my own thoughts.


I feel his hands move up and touch my cheek gently. This is it, he’s gonna kiss me; I don’t know what I should do. Will I even be able to kiss him back after all of this? He bends his head down to mine and gently with just a brush of his lips he broke the dam I had built behind my eyes. I can feel the tears rush down my cheeks. I can’t stop it and I can’t stop myself from kissing him back. This could be the last kiss I ever get from him.


He stops kissing me and puts his head up against mine again and stares into my eyes. He brings his hand up to wipe away my tears. Gently I feel the brush of his hand against my face and another tear falls from my eyes. I have to look away, walk away and don’t look back. But, I can’t. I stand there torturing myself longer. I don’t know how to walk away from him, I have never left successfully. With one word he had always brings me running back. But this time, it was him that’s leaving. He is saying good-bye and there is nothing that I can say that will stop him. Why am I wasting my time? He doesn’t care enough to stay, I could leave.


But, my feet won’t move I am just standing there staring in his emerald green eyes wishing he would stay. I know he is going to say it. In a few minutes he’s going to say “Good-Bye” and my world will be over. I can’t stop him; there aren’t enough tears in the world for me to cry that will make him stay. It’s over. I need to face this. But, not now, I can’t. Not while he is physically here in front of me and I can still smell that horrible cologne that he wears even though I hate it. I will love it from this day forward, though.


And, then I hear him say the words I have been dreading for the last month.


“Zoey, it’s time. I have to go.”


With those six words my life has just shattered. I fall to my knees as he’s walking to his car. He doesn’t look back; he can’t bear to see me cry anymore.


As I watch him driving away I know that I will never see my one true love again. I pick myself up off the drive way and go to bed, where I just might spend the rest of my life.



The next one was my midterm, it was 1250 words and I'm not the biggest fan of this story. I think I have done better but my instructor loved it, it's "a little predictable but has a great twist." So enjoy.


Please Stay







“I can’t believe he is doing this to me, I know he isn’t happy with her,” Janette sobbed to her friend, Angelica.



Janette had been having an affair with her boss, Daniel for the last year and a half, until three days ago. Daniel told her that he needed to try to fix things with his wife; they have been together for almost ten years and he owes it to her and their children.



“There is nothing you can do about it, they’re married and have a family together.”



“I know, but he always says he is going to leave her.”



“He might have been telling you that, but that doesn’t mean he is going to do it. I’m sorry you are so upset, Janette, but you have to let it go and move on.”



“I will, it’s just so hard when I have to see him every day. I need some time to myself without thinking about Daniel or this whole mess. I’m gonna go, I think I will just take a bath and relax. I will talk to you later.”



“Ok, but you have to promise me that you won’t call him.”



“I promise. Good night.”



Janette presses end and throws her cell phone in her purse as she pulls her black Nissan Sentra into the parking lot of LA Fitness. She knows Daniel goes to the gym every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday night.



I promised I wouldn’t call him, but I never said anything about not following him, Janette thinks as she turns off her headlights and parks far enough behind Daniel’s car that he won’t see her.



Within a few minutes she sees Daniel walking out in his basketball shorts and cut off shirt. His salt and pepper hair reflects in the dim parking lot lights as he looks up and spots her car. Janette slinks down in the seat of her little car hoping that he didn’t notice. Daniel pulls his cell phone out of the pocket of the jeans he is carrying in his hand and starts to dial as he gets in his car. Janette sits back up and turns on her car, being sure not to turn her headlights on yet.









She follows Daniel to his home, like she has many nights before. She sits outside his house as he goes in and greets his pregnant wife and daughter. Janette pulls her phone out of her purse and hits speed dial. She watches through the window as Daniel pulls his phone out of his pocket, looks at it hits silence. Janette drops her phone and starts to cry again. I don’t understand, he said he was happy with me. Janette pulls away and drives home to her empty apartment.









The next morning Janette makes sure she looks her best. She puts on her black pencil skirt with her favorite blue blouse that makes her blue eyes stand out even more. Her long blonde hair shines and is perfectly in place, he will have to take me back after he sees me today, she assures herself as she walks in the front door to Daniel’s law firm.



“Good morning Daniel,” she smiles as she walks past his office to her desk.



“Good morning Janette,” he replies without looking up from his computer screen, “can you please close my door, I’m very busy today and do not want to be disturbed.”



“Sure,” she snaps.



Hurt, Janette heads to her desk and starts to think about ways to get his attention.



I know, I can email him and ask him to have lunch with me at our favorite restaurant.



Janette pulls up her email and starts to type when in waddles Melinda, Daniel’s 8 month pregnant wife. Even being as pregnant as she is, she’s still beautiful. Janette can’t blame him for marrying her, Melinda was young, a successful pediatrician and a great mother.



“Good morning Janette, is my wonderful husband available? I will only steal him for a moment.”



“Actually he said he is very busy and doesn’t want to be disturbed, so sorry,” Janette tells her with a smirk on her face.



“Oh, well, I’m sure he won’t mind. I have breakfast and the ultrasound pictures, I found out the sex of the baby he will be SO excited. He needs a break anyway.”



“Melinda I really-“ Janette tries to interrupt but Melinda pushes past into Daniel’s office and closes the door.



Great, now I won’t be able to talk to him all day! Feeling rejected she goes down the hall to Angelica’s office for comfort.



“I don’t know what to do, Angelica, she is in there right now. I was going to ask him to go to lunch with me but she got here before I could send the email.”



“You need to stop is what you need to do. Just move on and let it go.”



“I can’t. I love him. I need to be with him. I’m just gonna go in there and tell her what’s going on. She needs to know that he wants to be with me, not her.”



“That’s not a good idea. I know you are hurt, but you aren’t going to win this one.”



“I have to.”



Janette gets up and heads down the hall to Daniel’s office. I can do this. He wants to be with me, not her. She will see. He will see.



Janette barges into Daniel’s office, it’s empty. She hears Daniel’s voice behind her.



“I will be right there, I just have to let Janette know I’m leaving for the day and then we can go celebrate.”



“You’re leaving for the day? You can’t. What about how busy you are?”



“It’s fine. It can wait; I’m going to celebrate with my wife. We are having a boy. This is great news. Please let everyone know I will be back tomorrow. Thanks Janette.”



“Wait! How can you act like this to me? Like nothing has happened? I want to talk to you.”



“What are you talking about Janette?” Daniel looks at her confused.



“About us.”



“There is no us. There never has been, and there never will be. I don’t know where you got this idea, but you need to stop. I know you followed me home last night from the gym and I know you called me. Seriously, this needs to stop.”



“What do you mean there never was. What about the last year and half? What about the trip to San Antonio?”



“Honey, are you coming?” Melinda asks walking up with her radiant smile.



“Yes, just a moment. I was just letting Janette know that we are leaving.”



“Melinda, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Daniel has been having an affair. With me,” Janette blurts out.



“Daniel, I thought you said you were going to take care of this situation?”



“I am, I placed the call this morning, that’s what I was doing right before you got here.”



“What are you guys talking about? Did you not hear what I just said? He was having an affair with me!”



“Janette, we know about your condition. Your sister Angelica told me the other day. You need to get help, I called the hospital.”



Just then Angelica came walking down the hall, “I’m so sorry Janette. I thought you were better.”



“I don’t know what you are talking about, I don’t even have a sister,” Janette cried.

AAAAAAnddd it's been about a month since I posted

• Well, I suck.. things have been busy. The End.
• We had a fabulous holiday weekend, and I will greatly miss the time off of work.
• I think I am mentally prepared for Christmas.
• I am almost done with my psychology class, my final is on December 4th. I'm excited!
• 2010 was a pretty amazing year.
• We had house guests for the first time this weekend. I love hosting things, even if it's just for a night.
• I hate Sundays, I spend the whole day dreading Monday. What a waste of a day.
• I am down to a size 16, for the first time in like 3 years, or possibly longer!
• I seriously love our new dining room table, I refuse to eat in the living room ever again.
• We had our first dinner party on Wednesday, I would say it was a success!

Here are some pictures to leave you with. I know I think you guys got ripped off on the post, but I have 2 creative writing assignments to turn in and I have got to get my but in gear.

Love you all, sorry I forgot about you  have been so busy!

He was super proud that he climbed his first tree

My awesome Thanksgiving day decorated table

Pretty amazing Garland that my cousin made

My 2 best friends and myself

So adorable

Making smores with the cousins

I'm starting to think maybe I should just post assignments on here.

In the spirit of Halloween I made my latest assignment a little creepy.

Let me know what you think.

The Neighbor

“While you guys are out of town do you think Megan can stay with me, so I’m not alone,” Rachel asks her parents as they load up their car to leave.

“I guess that would be ok, but absolutely no boys or parties. I mean it Rachel, we will find out,” her mom warns.

“Of course not Mom, you can trust me. Have a fun trip, I love you guys!”

“I know you wouldn’t, but Megan… oh well, never mind. We love you too! See you on Sunday,” her mom yells out of the window.

After watching her parents drive off into the fading sun light, Rachel turns to go back in the house and sees her neighbor John standing in his driveway watching her. He has always made Rachel feel uncomfortable and today was no different. John was a single man in his mid 40’s, Rachel has never seen him with a woman despite the fact that he was a mildly attractive older man. Honestly, she has never seen anyone come to visit him. To be polite Rachel waves to John and smiles as she opens her door to go inside and call Megan.

“Good morning, Rachel. Did I hear that your parents are going out of town for the weekend?”

“Yeah, umm they’ll be back on Sunday, night,” Rachel tells John, surprised that he heard what she was saying to her parents.

“Well, you know I’ll be here if you need anything. Don’t be afraid to knock on my door at anytime if you need something. A young girl staying home by herself isn’t safe, you know.”

“I’ll be fine. Thank you, John. I gotta get going though, have a good day,” Rachel says as she quickly goes inside and shuts the door, making sure to lock it behind her.

Rachel picks up her phone to call her best friend, Megan and starts checking all of the doors and windows to be sure they are locked, also. She doesn’t like staying home alone, it makes her very nervous.

“Hey Megan, it’s me. Guess what, my mom said you can come and stay while they are out of town for the weekend,” she blurts out as soon as her friend answers the phone. The two girls have been best friends since they were three years old, even though they have some very obvious differences. Rachel is a very quiet and polite girl, while Megan is loud and extremely flirtatious. They differ in looks as well; Rachel is plain with long chestnut brown hair and doesn’t need to ever wear make-up. Rachel has shorter multi colored hair that is always changing and wears lots of eye make-up.

“Really? That’s so awesome! Oh my God, party at your house this weekend! Rachel, it will be epic, the best party ever. We could invite Josh, Brad-“

“Megan, stop. We can’t have a party, and… no boys. I promised my mom.”

“WHAT? Are you serious? Then what are we going to do?”

“Umm, what we always do. Hang out and watch scary movies, or do our nails. We could go to the mall too, my mom left her car here.”

“But… ugh, ok. We are watching what I want to watch then. I hope you are ready to be so scared you pee your pants.”

Rachel wasn’t hearing a word her friend was saying. She was standing in the kitchen, which her mother overly decorated in apples, watching as her neighbor John was staring at her from his kitchen.

“Hello? Earth to Rachel, are you listening to me?”

“Huh? Oh yeah sorry. So, are you coming over or not?”

“Yeah, if you had been listening to me when I was talking, you would know this.”

“Good. Hurry up. You know I hate being alone.”

“Yeah, I know you’re a wimp. I’ll be there in an hour.”

Rachel hangs up her phone and goes back to the window to close the blinds, but John was gone. I’m just over reacting, she thinks.

I know, I will go and watch the episode of One Tree Hill on the DVR, Megan will be here by the time it’s over.

Rachel settles into the overstuffed beige sofa and starts to watch her show. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a shadow in the hallway. Rachel presses pause on the remote and watches the hallway.

It’s just my imagination; I’m the only one here. Stop freaking out, she reassures herself.

She turns her show on and lies down so she can’t see the dimly lit hallway anymore.



BANG, BANG, BANG!

“Rachel! HELLO??” Megan yells into the living room window.

Rachel sits up from the couch groggily and looks around. It is now dark outside and the tv is set to the DVR guide.

“Oh my gosh, Megan I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep watching One Tree Hill. How long have you been out here?” Rachel asks as she opens the front door.

“I don’t know like 5 minutes. Well, at least now you will be able to stay awake when we watch movies.”

Megan comes inside and throws her stuff on the freshly mopped tile and heads straight to the refrigerator.

“Do you have snacks? If not we can go to the store first, my mom gave us money for the weekend.”

“Yeah, my mom bought some food for before she left,” Rachel says as she walks into the kitchen.

“Uh, hey Megan, why’d you open the back door?”

“I didn’t it was like that. I thought maybe you wanted some fresh air,” Megan shrugs and closes the refrigerator door to move to the pantry.

“What? It was like that when you came in? I locked that while I was on the phone with you earlier. I remember because my creepy neighbor was staring at me while I did it."

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Maybe he opened it then,” Megan said looking wide eyed down the hallway at the man staring back at them.

The Post About Annoying Grammatical Errors

I totally get it. Some people aren't that good at English, but seriously? I mean SERIOUSLY.

Where was the proper usage of words like Their, There and They're lost? How do you not know when to use the correct spelling?

How about Your and You're? Then and Than? Effect and Affect? Except and Accept? Here and Hear? Yea and Yeah?

I'll break down for you the ones that bother me the most... in case you are one of the people that commonly misuse one of these words.

There, Their and They're; I know those words can be confusing.. really I do. Except (correct usage if you are wondering except is an exception to accept something is to receive a gift for example), I remember learning it this way.

There: to state where something or someone is. Example: "She is over there."
Their: possessive, meaning someone owns something. Example: "That is their house."
They're: Compound of two words THEY and ARE. Example: "They're coming to the game."

It's not that hard, if you think about that fact that it has to make sense. "She is over they are." DOES NOT make sense. Stop and think people.

Your: possessive... again, something you own Example: "This is your book."
You're: Again compound of two words YOU and ARE Example: "You're welcome" (this is a COMMON mistake, that drives me insane. You can't possess welcome. DO NOT SAY YOUR WELCOME. It makes NO sense what so ever.) If you aren't sure which one to use, break it down. "Is that you are car?" Nope doesn't sound right, it must be the other YOUR.

Yea: DOES NOT mean the slang form of yes. It means a yes vote when voting.
Yeah: the slang form of yes (or a lazy yes). Example: "Yeah, I'll go."

Here: location. Example: "They're here." (you like how I did that, don't you? I used two words that are commonly misused in one sentence!)
Hear: it's one of your five senses, when you're listening to something. Example: "Can you hear the music?"

For this one, just remember if you are HEARING a noise with your EAR, add an H to ear. :-)
Another trick like that I remember from grade school was for desert and dessert. You always want a second helping of your dessert but don't want to visit the desert more than once. :-) You don't want to lose the game more than once and add an extra O to make it more loose. They are kinda corny tricks but it helps to remember to spell things correctly.

I think what happened is that over the years people have stopped appreciating the written word. It's so important to use proper spelling and grammar when that is how you are communicating. It bothers me a great deal to see how much people don't care, or are too lazy to take the time to learn.

Another Creative Writing Assignment

So, I had to write my very first short story. We had to incorporate everything that we have learned so far. I have really been enjoying this class, so without further ado...

Here is my short story... please save all criticism til I can handle it, which very well may be never.


My Happiness




Doctor’s offices are always cold, Mary thought as she sits waiting in her son’s pediatrician’s office. She looks around the sunshine yellow room with paintings of happy trees and deer on the walls impatiently. She has been frequenting these offices a lot lately. Bradley caught some kind of virus a couple weeks ago and can’t seem to shake it. Only now it seems like it is getting worse; he started out with just the sniffles and a cough, now he is very weak, pale and extremely tired.

Mary is a single mom with just her one six year old son, Bradley. He is a very active boy, she takes him to soccer practice on Monday and Wednesdays and piano lessons on Thursdays he normally keeps her very busy but lately he hasn’t been doing any of these things. Mary is the librarian at Bradley’s school, it seems as though her life revolves around him, because it does. He is her happiness, the reason she gets up every morning. Without Bradley, there would be no Mary. She has no other family to speak of and very few friends.

Mary goes to help Bradley up on the table as Dr. Robins knocks on the door to enter the exam room.

“Hello again, Bradley, I would say nice to see you but not under these circumstances, huh?” Dr Robins smiles at Mary.

“Hi Dr. Robins,” Bradley whispers as he looks up. His brown hair looks even darker against his powder white skin. He has dark circles under his once bright blue eyes, but they have lost their sparkle since he has become so sick.

“How are we doing? Still not feeling any better?

“No, not yet, we are hoping you can help with that. Aren’t we, Bradley?”

“Yes, Momma,” Bradley whimpers again.

“Alright, well let’s take a look. Why don’t you lift up your shirt so I can hear that chest and heart,” Dr. Robins says as he puts his stethoscope in his ears.

Bradley lifts his shirt and reveals a dark purple bruise on his ribs the size of a grapefruit.

Dr. Robins looks at Mary,

“How long has he had that bruise? Do you know where he got it?”

Stunned by the bruise Mary shakes her head.

“I don’t know, it wasn’t there this morning.”

“Have you noticed any other bruises appearing?”

“Just one on his leg, he hit his shin on the coffee table the other day. I didn’t think it was that hard until I saw the bruise later that night.”

Dr. Robins lifted Bradley’s pant leg to expose the now greenish yellow bruise on his leg. He put his pant leg back down and walked over to the counter and started scribbling in Bradley’s file.

“Mary, I want to have some blood tests done, do you think you could take him over to the lab today and have those done for me?”

“Of course, is everything ok? Will this tell you why he has been so sick? Do the bruises have something to do with it?”

“I want to check his white blood cell count. I won’t know anything more until I get the results back. Head over there right now, and Mary, don’t worry.”



Mary sat in her dimly lit living room watching her son sleep on their old sagging sofa. She spent a lot of time doing that these days, as she anxiously waits to hear back from Dr. Robins with the test results. It has been two days since they took his blood; she thought for sure she would hear something by now. What worries her more is that Bradley still wasn’t feeling any better. If anything, he’s getting worse. He has been complaining of a stomach ache and won’t eat.

As Mary started to doze off in the rocking chair that she used to rock Bradley asleep in the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi, can I please speak to Mary Thomas?”

“Yes, this is her.”

“Hi Mary, this is Jessica calling from Dr. Robins office. We have received the test results for Bradley, Dr. Robins would like to see you in his office, would tomorrow morning be ok?”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

He wants to see us in his office right away, this can’t be good, Mary thought as she put the phone down. She looked over at Bradley sleeping so peacefully and started to cry. He is everything to her and all she wants is for him to be ok. She can remember sitting in this chair when he was a baby singing and rocking him to sleep, and now she feels so helpless that she can’t do anything when he needs her the most.



Another cold brightly painted room, only this time it’s blue with jungle animals on the wall. Mary and Bradley didn’t have to wait long before the knock on the door came. Dr. Robins came in looking as crisp as always in his white coat and blue tie.

“Good morning. How are you feeling today, Bradley?”

“Tired,” Bradley said.

“I have the results of the blood work, Mary; do you think we could speak privately? I can have Nurse Jessica take Bradley to get a sucker and a sticker, if that is ok with you?”

“Of course,” Mary smiles at Bradley to let him know its ok.

As Bradley leaves the room Dr. Robins sits in his stool and opens Bradley’s file.

“Mary, I’m afraid we have some not so good news. Bradley has acute lymphoblastic leukemia, which is a cancer of the blood. I’m going to refer you to the best pediatric oncologist, but I feel like we caught this early enough and that treatment will be more than likely successful.”

Mary slouched into the stool next her and started to cry.

My baby has cancer; she thought to herself and put her head in her lap.

“I will take him where ever I need to, please give me the referral. He needs to get better, he has to be ok.”

“He will,” Dr. Robins assured her.



Well, that was it. 1000 words from me. Again, this was my first short story, hopefully over time they will get better. :-)

The Assignment

I have completed my first creative writting assignment. A week late, but due to the arguing wtih the book store and financial aid I got my books about a week late. So, basically, to me.. I am right on track!

Our assignment was to retell something that happend to us from our childhood that changed us in 500 words, using concrete detail to help the readier visualize what  you are telling. I'm not sure how this changed me, but it is something I remember from my childhood. Of course I probably embelished somethings, and added things or omitted things to make it more interesting. But here you go.

The thing from my childhood that I picked was when my sister was bit by our dog. I dreamt that I wrote about this last night. No joke. I woke up and could remember this paper almost word for word. So, I got up and wrote it all down. Then as I was reading it back to Kyle later I started crying. I don't know why it was strange. But, anyway.

Assignment 1.


I remember sitting in the dimly lit kitchen drawing at the table. My mom had gone to the store for ice cream, so it was just the three of us; my dad, sister and I. My dad was lying on the couch in the dark watching “This Old House”, again. He watched that show so much it had become background noise in our home.


He looked at me and asked, “Where’s Jessi?” Jessi was my two year old sister. “I don’t know”, I replied as I went back to my masterpiece at hand. My dad yelled for her from his worn in spot on the couch, “Jessica!” I looked up to see where she was going to come waddling in from, and nothing. My dad started to get up from his favorite show and I looked in the backyard. There she was happily galloping in the backyard wearing only her diaper.


Jessi wasn’t allowed to be back there without an adult. We had two dogs that weren’t very fond of her. A black and white Great Dane that was horse-like in size, named Tobias and a fluffy black Cocker Spaniel that we called Lacey. We bought the two dogs as puppies when I was about four. They were always great with me. But, Jessi came into the picture later and neither dog had ever been around a terrible two year old.


At the moment Tobias and Lacey weren’t bothered by her squealing giggles as she ran laps around the perimeter of their yard.


I looked at my dad, “she’s in the backyard.” He Jumped to his feet and ran to the door. I had never seen my dad look so scared. As he went out the door Tobias looked up and saw the happy girl running around. My dad got to her first and picked her up to bring her back inside. When Tobias caught up he jumped and latched onto Jessi’s tiny leg. He had her entire calf in his mouth. Jessi started to wail and I stood at the door in complete shock.


I could hear my dad calling my name, “Kassie! Kassie, I need your help.” He was trying to pry the dog’s mouth open to free my sister’s leg. I could see the blood running down his hands and outlining Tobias’s mouth like bright red lipstick on his white fur.


As he freed her leg he handed her to me, “Take her straight to the car and put her in her seat, and be careful.” I carried her into the house like she was a piece of broken glass, careful to not touch or even look at her leg. I got her buckled in and took my spot next to her in the car and waited. She had stopped crying and was sitting quietly. It was then that I finally looked at her wound. Her leg was open and I could see all the muscles moving and twitching like a bowl of worms. My dad calmly got in car and brought me a towel to wrap around her little leg. “We are going to the store to get your mom, then to the hospital.”

School, T-Ball and Pants that Fall Down.

I am enrolled in introduction to creative writing and psychology 240. Classes start September 13th. Woo Hoo... no freakin' math!! :-)

I'm excited to take both of these classes. I enjoyed psych 101 when I took it and did really good in it too. Let's hope that it's just as good taking it online.

Since, my feet are feeling better I am officially back on the work out train. I have to whip my butt in gear by October something or other for the 5k that I am doing with pretty much everyone now. It started out as something small and now I think there are like 5 other people doing it. I would feel really bad if I couldn't do it now, after getting everyone else involved. I'm sure I will be fine. I just have to seriously kick some butt. I shred last night for the first time in awhile.. and OMG. I'm sore today... but it feels good. I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and it's fabulous. Hopefully the scale will start going down agian and I will really start feeling good again. Luckily over the last month and a half hiatus I took I haven't gained anything. But, this last week... well, let's just not talk about the last week. It involved chocolate and ice cream, a whopper, french fries and some other wonderful foods that I am not eating again. I did however make some cookies that were on the WW website. I don't recommend them. They were more like chocolate chip muffins. Pretty disappointing. Especially when I was hoping for gooey chocolate chip cookies. But, I guess coming off of a diet website that was some pretty unrealistic expectations.

Monster is going to be doing Little League T-Ball coming up in September. We are really excited aobut that. I think it will be really good for him to be involved in something with other kids. I worry about his serious video game obsession. It can't be good for a kid his age to be so involved with video games and tv. Shoot, maybe Kyle and I will make some friends that have kids. It's kinda strange being the only one's with kids. Most people just don't understand what it's like. We can't go out to the bar every weekend, or hardly any weekends to be more realistic. I don't remember the last time we had a date night. It seems like whenever he isn't working and we have a babysitter it's for something. Someone's birthday party, or some sort of event involving other people. haha... and we want another one. I sound pretty ridiculous. I'm complaining about not having any us time because we have 1 kid and no babysitters.. and I want more. I guess it really isn't that bad at all. I'm just feeling whiney.

I must go and exercise my butt off now. I want all of my clothes to be too big. :-)

I'm a Complete Slacker

Or.. maybe I'm not. So, I finished my classes and planned to take a month off from school. Surprise! I'm not. I will be taking a creative writing class starting September 7th. I'm actually kind of excited for this. I really think it will be fun and will help me to become a better writer. Which I definitely could afford to be!

One thing I have failed to mention on here, mostly because I think it is so gross, is that I have planters warts .. on my feet (mine aren't that bad, but still look diseased). Yeah, ouch, gross, disgusting and repulsive. I had to go to the Dr. today for treatment number 3 out of 6 and all I can think about is the fact that my foot hurts so bad. Which is why I am brining it up. Becuase, ow I can barely walk and it sucks that I can't go swimming with everyone else later. Yes, they are contagious. :-( I am way bummed.

I am down 17lbs! Awesome right?!?! Maybe you are sick of hearing about how much weight I have lost... but too bad! I am super de duper proud of myself. I can wear jeans I haven't worn in a really long time.I'm happy!

The last thing to update on is that we got rid of Z. I wish it was under better circumstances, but it was something that we had to do. For the safety of our other pets and selves. Bella and Zephyr got into a very nasty fight on Tuesday night. It was just Monster and I here when it happened. It was very scarey for both of us. Bella got hurt pretty bad and I had to take her to the emergency animal hospital to get her stitched up. When we got home Kyle called animal control to come and get Z. He was a very big part of our family for over a year and it was sad to see him go. We had done all we could for him, he listened better than he did when we got him but his anger and temper had only got worse. Z will be missed, but not the crazy angry Z. The lovable Z that would come and lay his head in my lap because he wanted me to pet him.

Zephyr

A Whole Lot of Nonsense Crammed Into 1 Post

So, we are getting close to 2 months of dieting and kicking my ass working out. What have I accomplished? I have made it to level 2 of Jillian "the bitch" Michael's 30 day shred, and I have lost (drum roll please) 6 lbs!! Which isn't much... but OMG the inches that are coming off make me a happy happy girl. I have been doing so good with sticking with my daily points and not using my weeklies except on my 1 cheat day a week. Last night Kyle and I got NYPD pizza & wings for dinner.. WOW. SO GOOD! I love living over here. We are close to all kinds of good stuff!! I'm really proud of myself for sticking this out this time around. I recently discovered that on WW they have a community with message boards and all kinds of fun stuff. So, that is awesome. It helps to see how much everyone else is struggling also (and it isn't just me), the encouragement of everyone on there is really awesome. I have never gone to a meeting, I don't know if I could. I am so shy that it could honestly scar me. I know you are all like... what shy?!?! Yes, honestly I am. I can't even play charades infront of people!! I may speak my mind once I am comfortable around ya, but get up and do something completely alone.. now that will make me pee my pants in an instant.

We are very close to vacation time. :-) I'm gettin excited. It's time to book our hotel in San Antonio and start planning everything. The only bummer is that homework will unfortunately invade my vacation. That sucks total ass... but oh well.. the price we pay right?

Speaking of homework... I should seriously be working on my art history paper.. this thing has been plaguing me for like 3 weeks now. You would totally thing that since I have know about it since the start of the semester I wouldn't have waited til 4 hours before it is due to work on it, right? Wrong.. if you honestly thought that you don't know me at all!! I am the QUEEN of procrastination!! It is in my blood... ask my mom!! So, here I am.. about to BS my way through yet another Art History paper and pray I do as good as I did the last time through. I'm sure I will be fine. I could think of some really good excuses as for why I am waiting til the last second, for example, Math is super duper hard (no joke, really it is) and I have been focusing on that. But really I haven't, I will be cramming that in tomorrow before Carl's birthday party. I just suck. Altogehter suck. I procrastinate, the sooner you comes to terms with that the better we all will be. :-)

I must attempt to go and BS my way through my paper now.. seriously I'm going to try.

I will leave you with some pretty amazing pictures of Monster's birthday party!

This is the FABULOUS cupcake stand that my sister and I worked our butts off to make!

He can't smile... really I believe that.

OMG.. he's 6... :-(

A new computer!

Check me out! I'm blogging from a real computer with real capabilities of making this a pretty good blog.

At least if I had time I would. I am going to be making this short.. just a quick update.

Shredding is kicking my ass.. but it is working. I have definitely lost inches.. and a full 3lbs. YAY!! Go me... and I am getting muscles in my legs. Who would have thought?

School started, I'm in my 2nd week. Not too bad. Speaking of I should be writting my paper. I have family coming over and my house is a wreck.

So, until I get the chance to update again. Have a good day!