Life is Beautiful

In my 29 years I have taken many different roads to get where I am today. None of which were the ones that most people go down. They were bumpy, unkept and some I'm pretty sure were rural dirt roads. You know the ones that have addresses like county road 9 and the post office won't deliver there? Yes, I suck at following direction, even when someone tells me the road I should take. Even with this said; I wouldn't change a damn thing. I'm proud of the woman I am today. I might be a little very stubborn, a sometimes know it all, loud and blunt; but I do have a good heart when I want to. I can be compassionate when I feel like it's appreciated and if I love you enough God knows I would do anything for you. Even if I don't want to. I feel like those rural dirt roads shaped me more than the smooth freshly paved ones ever could have. I learned a lot about who I wanted to be and they gave me the outline of how to get there. It just took awhile to follow the directions to get here.

Now, what's the point in telling you all of this you ask? Well, because young grass hopper, I had a self realization moment the other day. My sister and I were talking and found out that amongst my MANY different possible career roads that I took, I quit one when I was ridiculously close to being accepted to the program. Or, at least applying. I was 4 classes short of applying to the nursing program. That's it. I talked it over with Kyle and my sister and I am going to finish that road. Crazy, right? I am so used to quitting things... I think it's fear of failure personally, but that's for another self realization blog. I know I can do this.. not to mention the money would be awesome, once I finally do finish. So, I have an appointment with an advisement counselor to talk it over with them and get moving.

I know you are all thinking, "But, Kassie what about becoming a author?!?!?" No need to worry, I still fully plan to get my english degree. I don't want to give up any of the things that I love. I love to write and take pictures. I fully intend to keep up with those things. I am no stranger to taking on more than any one person can conceivably handle.

I think I finally figured it out. I might have directions to get where I need to go. A way to have a job with importance and meaning. Hopefully I can follow the directions a little better. I guess there is always Google Maps, right?

Here is an image to show you how hopeful I am. Everything is beautiful right now.

The sunsent from my backyard. I know you are jealous. :-)


I Suck at Follow Through

So, it's been close to a year since I have been on here. I wish I would have kept up with this better. But, I didn't. I really am going to try this again. It is helpful for me to write.. even if it is just for me.

So, a brief update of what has been going on? Maybe; but first I have to explain something I am feeling...

I am currently sitting in the backyard at our patio table feeling the cool wind on my face and blowing my hair around. I am in heaven. So many thoughts of how my life got to where I am and the true happiness of it all. I am truly happy. It's not something I have experienced a whole lot. I am usually too stressed out, or busy... but in this very moment, even though I haven't touched my homework and I know I should be doing that instead of this, I am happy. Content. Relaxed (another word I don't experience often). I can hear the sprinklers on the golf course, the crickets chirping and Bella rustling around in the bushes. There are faint sounds of the cars going by in the distance.. but for me the solitude that I am feeling right now is all that matters. I could be in a house in the country with no neighbors for miles and would feel the same way I do right now. It's amazing.

Growing up in a house of 5 is noisy. If you have ever met my family you would know that we are all loud. Silence is something that is treasured for me. I don't experience it unless I am sleeping. Being alone is a foreign concept. When I am not at work I have Monster. To feel this... this comfort with just the sounds of the crickets and my neighbor's flag flapping in the wind is blissful. I know a lot of people who take moments like this for granted. Maybe to you I sound like I am going on and on about something that is petty. For me, it's a rare moment. I want to relish in it. I want to bottle it up so I can open that jar on days where there is nothing but chaos and the hope of peeing uninterrupted. I'm not complaining by any means. If I didn't have those crazy days I would be bored. I would create chaos. It's having that chaos that makes you appreciate the rarity of the tranquil. Soaking in a tub while reading a book, laying in bed in pitch black nothingness, enjoying the breeze on the patio... these are the things that remind you why being alive is so amazing. These stolen moments of pure happiness are what makes each day so blessed. I may complain a lot.. some might even say I tend to be more negative than positive. Tonight under the twinkling stars in this beautiful state that I call my home, I see nothing but good in the future.