All We Can Do Is Our Best

We have a black lab that we really need to find a new home for. We have had him for about a year now. He came from a disgusting rescue house, my friend was taking him back because she couldn't handle him, and I couldn't let him go back there. It was dirty, there were flies everywhere and I felt bad. So, I talked to Kyle and brought him home.

Z is a terror. He is extremely hyper and vocal. He has torn up and ate the drip system in the backyard. Yes, ATE as in consumed. He torments the other dogs and drives me absolutely insane.

What's the issue with getting rid of him you ask? Why is he still here? Because I feel horrible getting rid of him. I'm afraid he's going to go to a home that will treat him bad.

I don't know what to do. I feel like we have done all we can do for him. It's a sad feeling.


It's Been Awhile

With Easter, my dreaded birthday (that turned out being pretty good thanks to my awesome family & amazing husband), being sick & hectic life, I have completely forgot about blogging. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.

So, we'll start with Easter. It was nice. Kyle wasn't feeling good so he didn't go to work. Monster is getting a little older so we were able to make his egg hunting a little bit more difficult. We went to my Mom's for dinner and had a birthday celebration all in one. My awesome family got me a Wii Fit! Which I adore, thank you monks and everyone else!

My birthday was good. My desk at work was decorative which made the day feel special. Complete with flowers and chocolates! Kyle brought me lunch and a new cd. Then I came home made Tacos for the monster and I & watched dvr'd episodes of Nurse Jackie & US of Tara. I took Wednesday off to celebrate with Kyle. We went to see Repomen & had lunch at The Cheese Cake Factory. Delicious! We were also semi celebrating our 5 month wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has already been THAT long. So, we decided that on the 7th of every month we are going back to The Cheese Cake Factory to try a different kind of cheese cake. At least until our 1 year. I don't think I have told you about Kyle's deep love for cheese cake. I'm pretty sure he would divorce me to marry it if it was legal.

I have also recently enrolled for online classes. I really enjoy school. So, once again I'm going back. That made me think of the song at the beginning of Grease 2. Ha ha, now I want to watch it. Anyway, back to school (ha Ja I'm totally singing that in my head everytime I type it), I'm taking prerequisites for the nursing program. But I have also been thinking about going further in English and writing. It has always been something I enjoy and have been pretty good at. I guess we'll see how it goes.

But, with the financial aid we will be able to get a new computer! I'm totally excited. It's going to take 4-6 weeks for the award to go through, which I really don't understand. I was approved in April of last year! That's the government for you. My first class statred on Monday and the next on May 12th. I'll be going to my Mom's to do the work. So, if anyone wants to buy my computer now, I'll pay you back in 4-6 weeks. No really, I'm serious. :-)

We got a new dog last Sunday. Her name is Bella. She is 2 years old and is a mix between an American Bulldog and Boxer. She is beautiful and very active. Although, if you saw her curled up snoring right now you would call me a liar. Kyle told me he wants to eventually have a dog rescue. My first reaction was "Absolutely not! OMG all that dog hair, are you CRAZY?" Then the more I thought about, it wouldn't be a bad idea WAY later in life, when we have a bigger house with a BIG backyard with enough room to have rescue dogs. My problem would be getting attached and not wanting to give them up.

And, finally the best part of all. We get to vacation in July!!! Kyle's work had to close down for 12 days. So, I took the 2nd week of July off and we are going on a real vacation. We will be driving to Houston to see Kyle's sister's new house. But, we are stopping on the way in San Antonio to go to Sea World and The Alamo. We are very excited. Not only for our vacation but 10 days of no work! OMG!!

I guess that covers everything... oh wait! We finally got Monster's rooms unpacked. Yes, he has 2 rooms, don't judge. He's an only child with entirely too many toys. And, we are happy with that. Unless we are unpacking them, then we are cursing the fact that he has so many.

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend I'm gonna go play my Wii Fit!


Who Needs A Title For This? Not Me.

I always find Saturday afternoons to be my favorite part of my week. There is still plenty of time ahead before the dreaded Monday and I have already accomplished something with my weekend, or at least this weekend I have.

I have realized a lot this past week that I have really been struggling with lately. I'm not sure what route I'm headed with this or how to map it all out for you, so hang in there this might get a little bumpy and all over the place.

With my looming birthday I have realized that getting older is becoming an issue for me. I know I'm still considered young, but I feel like I'm getting too old to be unsure of what I want to do. I know, I'm not even 30 yet, blah blah blah blah. But, still! I seriously feel like I should be somewhere by now. I had a plan when I was younger, but somewhere along the years of rebelling and moving in with my then boyfriend, getting pregnant, moving home, moving out, moving home, then out and so forth I lost sight of my plan. I know it's my fault, so it's time to fix it. Hopefully, by Monday, I will be on a good path in the right direction.

On to my next realization. I hate Kyle's schedule. Hate, hate,hate... did I say I hate it? I spend a lot of time with Monster which is awesome, but not enough adult time. With this pure hatred for his schedule it has made me irritable with Kyle. I know full well that it isn't his fault. Which then makes me feel guilty for being irritated with Kyle. It's a horrible cycle. It isn't like we aren't used to not seeing each other. That has been our relationship from the start. We have pretty much always worked opposite schedules. So, why the new irritation with it? I guess I'm just starting to feel like enough is enough. I want a life. I want to do things with our friends, have date nights, see each other more than 2 nights a week and a couple hours over the weekend. Who knows when this will change. Sooner rather than later I hope.

I feel like I'm whining. But, dang it, this is my blog and I will whine if I want to. In spirit of whining, on to my next subject;

My weight loss struggle.

It feels like my weight has always been something I have fought with. There was a period of time in high school where looking back now I was a good healthy weight. But, to ask me then I thought I was fat. And then right before I got pregnant I was at a decent size, but again I thought I was fat. Fast forward to now, I'm relatively 100lbs heavier than I was then. Maybe even more. I have always struggled with this. It is depressing and hard to deal with. My fault? Absolutely. I don't have a medical condition that causes it. Unless laziness is a medical condition. I was doing really well with weight watchers last year. But, I found some excuse for why I had to stop, like I always do. I'm notorious for excuses. You would think that my repulsion for myself would push me harder, but it doesn't.

I'm going to start it again. I'm going to do this. I have been told it gets harder to lose the weight the older you get. I need to lose it, before it turns into a medical problem. There will be excuses, I know it. But, I need to. To not only be healthy, but because I don't want to look at myself in the mirror anymore. Because, seeing what I looked like on my wedding day grossed me out. Because, I'm INSANELY insecure. Because if I don't now I might always be this way. And I'm not ok with that.

Now with all this being said it might seem like I'm having a pitty party or think my life is so hard. I don't. I know I'm better off than a lot of other people. I know just how lucky I am. I'm just unusually depressed at the moment.

Well call me Betty Downer. If you actually made it this far into this I commend you and wish I had some sort of prize for you. Until next time, Have a great day and Happy Easter to you!